Be Selfish and Grateful For It // Alaska
This year has been a very accomplishing year. Although I intuitively knew the potential 2014, I had no clue it would play out the way it had bringing all it has in such a short time. Reading my blog from the first of the year, I talk a lot about love and appreciating the living of life in every moment. I set out to discover myself in this year and start loving me the way I should have years ago. I have done many things without truth to my own just as most people do. I have traveled through time pretending to be something or someone I wasn't whether it was to fit in with a certain person or to design this life that was completely opposite from what I truly wanted out of fear of being my true self.
For the first time ever, I am Julie inside and out. I have never been happier in my life. I have never felt the way I feel right now. The personal discoveries and light I have found this year alone are enough to make me happy to be selfish and grateful for it. I have learned to put myself first because I’m the only one responsible for my happiness. I have learned I am the only one that controls my emotions in any given situation and the way things make me feel. I am solely responsible for my life. I cannot depend on anyone to make me happy. It comes from me and me alone. I had to change my world. If I am not happy then I cannot ever dream of sharing happiness with anyone. There is no way I can make my children feel happy and loved if I cannot first make myself that example. That is why I must be selfish and create the person inside of me that needs to be there shining bright.
The actuality of this life changing idea of a year took a while to surface. Although I wanted it to happen, it took a lot of eye openers and challenges before it really set in on what I had to do. And by all means I am still learning - especially the part about loving the unloveliness of myself, the parts that still make up me. The realization that it was within myself that needed the change to be able to change my world and become who I am today really set in about February. I had a fortunate event take place that led to seeing that it might actually be ok to show my true self and it be accepting to others. Knowing it doesn't matter what other people think or how they see you, it took a while for that to become a reality to someone like myself who was dependent on having a certain image and worrying about if people will like the real Julie. At the end of February, I was fortunate to take a family trip to Alaska. The majestic snow-covered mountains held a power behind them that was surreal. It was a spiritual feel so extraordinary that I was almost beside myself, and not to mention the pure amazement as I was in staring at the luminous northern lights dancing throughout the sky and over Mount McKinley. The whole trip was life changing. I found a part of me that had been buried so deep it is a miracle it surfaced. My dear brother told me that perhaps it was not the mountains in Alaska that held this sensation, but instead it was me. The power I feel and the spiritualness of experiences in certain forms is simply a mirror image of how I see myself. I could put someone beside me on top of that mountain and they might not feel the same sensation. It is a greatness I seen in myself and knowing I have that power within these walls I have put up.
I am blessed to be able to have found this light within myself, and I hope to show each of you that all your power is already within. True happiness comes from being authentic and loving the real self like no other. Get the mind and soul in the right dove and the watch the rest fall together in Divine time. Thank you 2014 for being the best year yet. Cheers to 2015 and an endless amount of more adventures I know you will bring.